An Italian businessman missed his ex-girlfriend so much after she dumped him that he paid $18,000 to recreate her as a doll.  The 50-year-old man put together a collection of photos of his ex for an Italian adult toymaker.  “I want it just like her but with bigger boobs,” he reportedly requested. 

A man with the last name “Butts” was arrested for murder of a man with the last name “Boob.”  Last year, 29-year-old Samuel Boob of Centre Hall, Pennsylvania was shot and killed.  The police discovered that a man named Ronald Heichel who was having an affair with his wife, Miranda Boob, murdered him.

The police discovered that 26-year-old Kermit Butts knew about the murder plan and offered to help Heichel dispose of the body for $5,000.  He’s been charged with felony aggravated assault and hindering apprehension.

Peter McFarland of Marin County, California was coming home from a fundraiser when he stumbled and fell down the steps to his front door.  He felt like an idiot and told paramedics, “If I had a gun, I’d shoot myself in the head.”  Wasn’t until two sheriff’s deputies showed up that Peter realized they took him seriously.  The cops said they were taking him to the hospital because he was suicidal.  He told them he was just kidding and refused to go.  So they tased him... three times.  He was arrested, jailed and charged with resisting arrest.  A judge later dismissed the charge.  McFarland is suing.

A 52-year-old man from Wenatchee, Washington was hiking across Blewitt Pass when he decided his 40-caliber handgun was a little uncomfortable.  He had it in its’ holster on his side.  So he figured he’d try putting it in his back pocket to see if it was better.  That’s when the gun went off.  Bullet went right through his butt, stopping just above his knee.

Jacquelyn Kotarac of Bakersfield, California was in one of those on-again, off-again relationships.  Only this time, it seems she was on-again while her 58-year-old boyfriend, William Moodie, was off-again.  He was having nothing to do with her.  She figured she could convince him otherwise if only he’d let her into the house.  He wouldn’t, so she decided to go down the chimney.  Got stuck.  Dr. Jacquelyn Kotarac was 49.

Cops had 45-year-old Sharon Piatek pulled over for suspicion of driving in Dover, New Hampshire.  While they were giving her a field sobriety test, her husband slid from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat and started to drive off.  One of the officers present stopped him and Brian Piatek put the car in reverse, returning it to where it was.  Yeah, he didn’t do so well on a field sobriety test, either.  They’ll both be in court next month.

20-year-old Farrah Pierce of Providence, Rhode Island was with a friend at a shopping mall in Natick, Massachusetts.  The friend was arrested for shoplifting.  And that is when things turned really bad, really quick. 

#1. She wanted to drive home using her friend’s car home.  The police said no, your eyes are red and glassy and you’re clearly drunk.  Call someone to pick you up.

#2. Farrah made several calls, and finally a man came to get her.  The only problem was, he didn’t even know her name, but told police he’d taken her out a few times.

-The police report says, “It became quite apparent that Farrah was most likely an escort and that the male party was most likely a john, and not suitable or a safe person to release her to in this state of intoxication.”-

#3. They took her to the station until she could find a “sober, responsible adult” to pick her up.  In the cruiser she made several sexual comments to the cops including, “I like (word that rhymes with sock), you guys are cute.”

#4. Once they got to the station, she flipped out.  She was screaming, swearing and kept trying to expose her breasts.  So they put her in a cell.

Kyle Dubois of Dover, New Hampshire thought he’d have a little fun.  So he attached an electrical clamp to one of his nipples while another student attached another clamp to the other.  A third student then plugged the wires into an electrical outlet.  The result was that Kyle’s heart stopped.  Kyle’s parents are suing the teacher and say that he did not warn the students of the dangers of playing with electricity.  The suit also says Kyle suffered permanent brain damage.

Naperville, Illinois police clocked Lucas S. Wright driving at 100 mph in a 50 mph zone.  He said he’d just gotten his car washed and he was trying to dry it off.